Week 29 was horrific for me. I was admitted into Mt Alvernia Hospital with contractions 4minutes apart after a visit to the Gynae on Wednesday late afternoon. I experienced strong tightenings that were painless but unsure, I called the Gynae who summoned me down to his clinic immediately. HubBear and I dropped our work and rushed my body down. Not good, the Gynae checked us into the hospital, where I stayed for 5 days.
I was put on a Ventolin drip. This is painful. The drug had its side effects - trembling hands, heart palpitations, faster heart rate, nausea, headache, breathlessness, pain across the shoulders and more... I was miserable. It didn't help that HubBear was not allowed to stay overnight at the delivery suite where I was held.
What's dreadful was that the next shot is 12 hours later aghhh. Soon, HubBear had to leave as visiting hours = over!!! Not good. I couldn't sleep of course, because I was in shock - from not knowing what's happening, what's going to happen, worrying about baby, worrying about complications, terrified by the next injection, very lonely and very lost, having to pee helplessly in bed on the pan - so then that's it, at 4am I broke down and cried, wished I can go home.
HubBear promised to come very early to accompany me and I waited patiently whilst watching Cartoon Network to calm myself down.
HubBear came at 7am. At 730am I was given my second dose of steroids. I cried and cursed at the pain silently, and I lost all my appetite for breakfast - chicken porridge, just a few mouthfuls and HubBear finished the rest. I was strapped to the CTG monitor again and the contractions had subsided. Gynae came and said if all is well, I will be off the drip, warded in the afternoon and check out tomorrow.
After the toilet break, I was brought down to do an ultrasound scan to check for dilation or thinning of the cervix. Baby is fine at 1.6kg, my placenta is in a good position, there was no sign of dilation or thinning of the cervix, everything was just good and normal. Perplexed.
Unfortunately just after tea break, I had to be wheeled back to the delivery suite again because I was having contractions again sigh. Which also meant HubBear cannot stay with me for the second night and I will be alone again. I had the most pathetic dinner intake and felt extraordinarily miserable. The ventolin Drip was put back up and I was on a strict bed rest, and can only pee in the bed pan.
HubBear stayed as long as he could, but was ordered to leave at 10pm. I think this policy has to be scrapped because I thought I was suppose to remain stress free? His departure made me extremely stressed out and depressed. The trembling hands made EVERYThing worse because I could not use my phone to keep myself occupied, the tv channels were limited and if you didn't know, mediacorp channels repeated their lousy programs?! I wonder why some programs are even aired because the quality is just terribly dated. They are also phasing out to become digital in two years which means if you cannot afford a digital tv, you won't be able to watch tv anymore.
I watched Cartoon Network the whole night whilst I waited for the clock to tick by, until I see my HubBear again....
Gynae came before HubBear. He checked the contractions and was not very happy, told me that if by 2pm CTG monitoring fail, I will have to remain in the delivery suite and cannot be warded. To be honest, I was a little angry at baby... because he has dashed my birthday hopes. I thought we could celebrate the same birth date together! Naughty boy thinks otherwise.
After lunch, I was strapped up to the CTG and we prayed for the best. Zero contractions! Passed, I was off the drip and wheeled out at 3pm to the ward! Hopeful of checking out tomorrow! I miss my bed and pillows.
Day Four and Five
There have been several depressing moments where I was being slapped with accusations like
- you drink too much cold drinks
- you walk too much
- you didn't eat well nourish diet
- you must have done something wrong
- you are too stressed
- you have a bad temper
- and many more....
Honestly, these comments made me very depressed and stressed out because I worry about my own body more than anyone else. I have no intention to cause this event, that would be absurd. Everyone became a professional when they are clearly not, based on their own skewed non medical opinions and even hearsay. I haven't even the courage to inform HubBear's parents because I know I would not be able to accept any more unnecessary comments that have been 100% negative and uninvited so far. I didn't allow HubBear to share this news with his parents and I'm glad I didn't. I know deep down I've already reached my limit and I was on the verge of breaking down and it's definitely not good for baby. I don't need any more supposedly 'for your own good' advise which doesn't help me at all, instead provokes and causes more stress to my body. I can take care of my body.
I did ask my Gynae why it happened? He said 99.9% there are no reasons or answers, it just happens, even if you are healthy to anyone.
I am now back at home on a relax on bed rest instruction for this entire week - no walking no shopping no stress no anxiety no crazy emotions be happy etc, which is likely to be extended when I see my Gynae this Saturday. He has a recommendation for me to stop work already and will discuss with me on the plans this weekend. I can see the seriousness when he frowns and he means it, sigh.
We are trying to hold off labour until I reach week 32, if better, week 36. In my heart, I hope I can hold it off until my birthday which is week 39... Kinda challenging, not impossible. God luck.