Thursday, 5 March 2015
A record of 6 recent happy events that lead to greater happiness:
Kindness in Giving
We gifted a stranger with our not-for-sale limited edition Coca Cola set that I won on a Twitter contest.
笑啊Why do that?
What can we do to make our world a better place to live in, a better place for our children and their future?One Act of Random Kindness at a time, ARK.
Today I saw my work on the big screens for the first time. I received compliments from four very important people about my work, and that adds fuel my already everlasting passion.
Tomorrow's the big day! It's our annual dinner and dance. I'm so excited because I've plans to catch up with my fun loving colleagues across the businesses, The reward for this accomplishment - felling fulfilled, satisfaction in my good effort, catching up with many colleagues, building new friendships, joy and laughter!
Cultivating a determined good habit to be positive and grateful filled with love and grace for as far as possible. Such as - Enjoying the passion that I have for my work even when everyone says I'm nuts to not sleep at all. I love my job. I love everything that has happened in my life. I'm grateful. I choose to be on the good side of the Truth.
An opportunity to review a beauty treatment which works! And I am always grateful for every human I meet, every animal, every thing and every moment...
Coming home late and physically exhausted again to mom's yummy home-cooked dinners and today's chef special is Vegetarian Mee Siam!
Joy and Laughter
Earlier this week whilst I was gleefully indulging in my "absolute-passion-filled-climatic-obsession" (with my work), very early in the morning (at around 1am), when suddenly, for the first time in my life, I actually heard my husband laughing hysterically. And that DISTRACTED me.
I thought that maybe, after so many days of failed attempts to seek a loving and heroic (manly) companionship goal:
(Pause to explain his goal)
the husband's unrealistic goal =
I will stay awake as long as my wife is awake because I want to spend quality time with her
(End of pause lol)
whilst I work into the dead hours, I assumed he suffered a severe lack of sleep disorder and had accidentally pushed himself into 笑 (insanity).
He said he cannot stop laughing because this picture describes exactly how he feels whenever he texts me.
A gush of 冷Cold wind attacked my face causing my brain to freeze for a long moment before I recollect my senses and attacked him violently by stuffing my hair into his mouth.... that can of course only happen in my head.
I needed my coats to be in the car as soon as when I arrived home today. So whilst helping me with the coats that he had kindly brought downstairs, I caught my husband again (he has been infected with the love bug for a while now) looking at me but without his knowledge that is.
I smiled to myself and then hope I don't get caught and end up having to hide in his armpit.
Reminding myself everyday that I am a mommy with three absolutely beautiful Bubbles!!!
Sunday, 1 March 2015
Saturday, 28 February 2015
"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude ..."
Friday, 27 February 2015
Thursday, 26 February 2015
with me. (Of Course!)
He's been showing the following crazy love-struck signs lately:
- Watching Me
For several times a day, I've caught this man "coating" his eyes all over me like discreetly NOT.
He's even openly confessed to me last night that "I've been observing you every day and I KNOW every single part of you!"
On top of that, he compliments generously like:
"You look really beautiful just like that."
"Why haven't I seen this side of you, what have I been doing."
"You look really hot in that dress."
"I love the way you do up your hair like that. Very pretty."
"You look very sexy today."
"I've got the best wife on earth, the kind all men dream of having. And you're mine."
"My wife makes beautiful babies. Can I have one more? A girl maybe?" <-- NO.
Well, it does make me feel a little skippity hop hop teased in a way. Now that I've got to be at my best since I know he is constantly observing me, I've got to feign ignorance and oblivious to avoid getting caught looking embarrassingly blush-red.
- That Lingering Smile
He has been smiling alone A Lot Lately, even when I am right beside him, when baby is beside him and when both baby and I are beside him. He smiles like a _____. Sweet stuff watching a man fall in love :)
His whole life is now revolving around me like our planetary solar system, makes me feel bashfully giddy. LOL!
Which also explains why I have LESSER PERSONAL SPACE lately. I don't get to spend as much time alone as much as I want to. I read a lot and I need several pockets of "ME" time to hide in my world of Books. He's been disrupting and interrupting and irritating and annoying and intrusive but then again, I know I welcome him doing all that deep inside my heart lol!
- Talking Just Way Too Much
He cannnot stop talking, about everything! He has too much to say, even during office hours. Like Best Friends Forever. Love it.
- Out Of His Way and Beyond
He has been going all out, out of his way, beyond his comfort zone just to accomplish goals I randomly toss out of my silly mouth.
There is absolutely nothing I need to do. He has been doing every little thing for me like awwww. I cannot compliment him because he says compliments will make him become a complacent person, his weakness (WAH). He prefers to assume nothing is ever done enough and he has to do even better, even more.
He is SPOILING me!!! What a man.
- Close Contact
Imagine a never-ending physical touch of a finger on your arm or sticking ankle to ankle for 8 hours every night.... Agh!!! His elbow is right now on my arm as I blog whilst he sleeps!
- Not Too Distant Communication
He has been deliberately flooding me out with weird, out of point, random text messages, that would definitely require me to use my brain, knowing full well I AM BUSY THIS TWO WEEKS, to get my ATTENTION.
When he texts to me with more words than I can possibly imagine, weird.
He responds in an instance, wow.
He requests for phone calls to 'discuss' with me buddhism. Ok.
Most importantly, I hear him laughing out loud silly, making me laugh so hard, and we laugh hysterically together, so so much.
- Love Awakened
My husband's one hell of a terribly imperfect guy. He made me understand one important fact about men:
"A woman can never change a man because she loves him. A man changes himself because he loves her."
He's right. You don't have to do anything except to be your true self.
It seems to me that men bloom rather late in long term relationships. Most times, a little too late.
I Kept It In My Pants For A Year And I'm Happier Than Ever
"I've been everywhere sexually. So I'm abstaining until I connect with someone on a deeper level."
I've loved sex ever since I first learned about it as a teenager. Growing up, I used to read all the books, The Sensuous Man, The Sensuous Woman, The Joy of Sex. Sex was always a quest for me.
I remember losing my virginity and how amazing sex felt. I remember in my 20s using sex as an ego validation. I also remember my mother telling me to respect women, and I always tried to follow her advice. I've had all kinds of sex. I've had romantic sex. I've had love making sex. I've had plain old screwing. I've had validation sex, and I've had one-night stands. I've had everything under the sun. I've enjoyed every stage of my life being a sexually free being.
But recently something inside me changed.
I was dating this woman in 2013. It was an amazing sexual relationship. We had that incredible chemistry where our bodies knew exactly how to speak to each other. We were so into every moment. Sex would last hours, and it was always fun. The foreplay was amazing. Bringing each other to orgasm was intense. I could literally feel every bit of her. But missing in that relationship was the emotional connection I wanted. I kept hoping one would develop but it just wasn’t there.
When that relationship ended, I sat down with a bunch of friends and announced
"I'm not going to have sex anymore until I have everything I need."
They looked at me and laughed. They said, "No way, man! You're someone who has to have sex. You’re just saying that because the relationship ended."
My friends were wrong.
I'm at a stage at my life where I have experienced bits of soul sex. I have experienced some really deep things during sex, and I believe sex comes with a responsibility. I don't want to go down that road anymore, unless it's a road I have never been on. A new road of sexual exploration, mutual respect, of feeling comfortable and safe.
This year has been the year without sex. It's not like I haven't had opportunities, but I didn't act on them. Instead, I started thinking about the responsibility of sex. I started thinking about what it means to truly be authentic as a man. I remember in the middle of the year in July, I met this woman and we kissed. She looked at me with that look in her eyes. I said, "We're not having sex." She smiled and said, "Why not?" I said, "I don't feel it. We don't know each other well enough."
It’s like I've become the woman now. I really want to have sex, but I want it to be special. I want to get deep and connective, and I want to go places I've never been before. I stopped having sex because I'm tired of it not going anywhere. I wanted the whole picture. In my mind and in my heart, I want to experience something I've never experienced before. Just having sex for the sake of having sex was definitely not where I wanted to go.
The funny thing about it is, I'm not that frustrated. I've been sleeping great. I don't think that much about sex. I've never been much of a masturbator. It's like I've used that energy to channel elsewhere to get in my mind, in my heart and in my soul. I'd like to go somewhere I've never been before. I don't want the same old, same old.
I stopped having sex because I want to connect on a much deeper level. If I start having sex with somebody just for the sake of having sex, I'm going to take my energy away from being able to connect and meet somebody on a deeper level. A year without sex. It's actually been about 15 months.
I'm not a Boy Scout. I've had a few 'intimate encounters' this year.
But, I'm happy with my decision.
I feel like I've grown as a man. I feel like now, I can speak my truth, like I'm no longer ruled by the little man down below. I feel like my heart is in the right space. My ego is no longer making decisions. I've taken the ego out of it. It's amazing because now I've become a vulnerable, feeling, open, raw man. That feeling alone is an amazing experience.
I wanted to confess this to you because I want you to realize not all men are thinking with their little man down below. Not all men are just looking to get laid. I want you to know there are other men like me. Several of my friends have done the same thing. These are men who have grown past their ego validation days of sex.
There are a lot of men out there that are just like me.
Wanting to connect deeper, experience that soulful loving connection, that leads to soul sex.
If that’s what you are looking for in a man, you don’t have to settle.
Tell the universe you desire a deep, soulful and physical connection with a man.
That you’re not going to settle for anything less.
Then watch what the universe presents to you.
It will change your life, like it has changed mine.