Thursday, 5 March 2015

Greater Happiness

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A record of 6 recent happy events that lead to greater happiness:

Kindness in Giving

We gifted a stranger with our not-for-sale limited edition Coca Cola set that I won on a Twitter contest.

笑啊Why do that?


What can we do to make our world a better place to live in, a better place for our children and their future?
One Act of Random Kindness at a time, ARK. 

Right Thoughts
Today I saw my work on the big screens for the first time. I received compliments from four very important people about my work, and that adds fuel my already everlasting passion. 

Tomorrow's the big day! It's our annual dinner and dance. I'm so excited because I've plans to catch up with my fun loving colleagues across the businesses, The reward for this accomplishment - felling fulfilled, satisfaction in my good effort, catching up with many colleagues, building new friendships, joy and laughter! 

Cultivating a determined good habit to be positive and grateful filled with love and grace for as far as possible. Such as - Enjoying the passion that I have for my work even when everyone says I'm nuts to not sleep at all. I love my job. I love everything that has happened in my life. I'm grateful. I choose to be on the good side of the Truth. 

Gratitude 
An opportunity to review a beauty treatment which works! And I am always grateful for every human I meet, every animal, every thing and every moment...

Love
Coming home late and physically exhausted again to mom's yummy home-cooked dinners and today's chef special is Vegetarian Mee Siam!

Joy and Laughter
Earlier this week whilst I was gleefully indulging in my "absolute-passion-filled-climatic-obsession" (with my work), very early in the morning (at around 1am), when suddenly, for the first time in my life, I actually heard my husband laughing hysterically. And that DISTRACTED me. 

I thought that maybe, after so many days of failed attempts to seek a loving and heroic (manly) companionship goal:
(Pause to explain his goal)
the husband's unrealistic goal = 
I will stay awake as long as my wife is awake because I want to spend quality time with her
(End of pause lol)
whilst I work into the dead hours, I assumed he suffered a severe lack of sleep disorder and had accidentally pushed himself into 笑 (insanity).

He said he cannot stop laughing because this picture describes exactly how he feels whenever he texts me. 

A gush of 冷Cold wind attacked my face causing my brain to freeze for a long moment before I recollect my senses and attacked him violently by stuffing my hair into his mouth.... that can of course only happen in my head.


I needed my coats to be in the car as soon as when I arrived home today. So whilst helping me with the coats that he had kindly brought downstairs, I caught my husband again (he has been infected with the love bug for a while now) looking at me but without his knowledge that is. 

I smiled to myself and then hope I don't get caught and end up having to hide in his armpit.

Hope
Reminding myself everyday that I am a mommy with three absolutely beautiful Bubbles!!! 


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Sunday, 1 March 2015

Being Honest

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(Via Tiny Buddha http://tinybuddha.com/quotes/tiny-wisdom-on-being-honest/)

“It pays to be honest, but it’s slow pay.” ~Proverb

There are two types of rewards we can enjoy in this life: the kind that appear to come immediately, and the kind that we generally don’t realize are accumulating over time.


Integrity

When you say what people want to hear instead of speaking your mind, you may receive their validation; but in the long run, it won’t be nearly as satisfying as knowing you’re a person who operates with integrity.


Self Respect

When you lie about who you are to avoid the discomfort of being rejected, you may receive other people’s approval; but it won’t be nearly as gratifying as knowing people like you for you and earning your own self-respect.


Loving Yourself

When you fail to acknowledge your needs to meet another person’s, you may feel good about being considerate; but it won’t be nearly as rewarding as taking care of yourself.


Honesty

Honesty can feel uncomfortable in the short-term. I’ve often struggled with being fully myself, asking for what I need, and saying no when people ask for things I don’t want to give. But everything good in my life has come from the decision to honor my own truth.

We all have countless opportunities to do this from one day to the next. Today when you have a choice to be true to yourself or please someone else, ask yourself: Would you rather be honest and temporarily uncomfortable, or slowly convince yourself that what you want, need, and believe does not matter?

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Saturday, 28 February 2015

Quote

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"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude ..."

Albert Einstein 
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Friday, 27 February 2015

A Father's Advice To His Son About Women & Sex

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(Article via Tango)

Having "the talk" with your sons will help them grow into mature and respectable men. 

My oldest son is about to move out and start living on his own. It's a poignant moment for me because I still remember the little boy he was, innocent and wide-eyed. Now he's embarking on his own life journey with all its inevitable ups and downs. 

He may not be consciously aware that his normal hormonal surges are in overdrive and fueling his blossoming desire for women and sex. As a dating coach, I know how important it will be for him to develop healthy relationships with the women he'll meet and date in the future. It will mean the difference between a life of turmoil, misunderstanding and loneliness, or a life filled with joy, comfort and acceptance.

Here are the nine pieces of advice I gave my son about women and sex.

1. Don't Listen To The Jokes
Throughout your life, you will hear jokes about women and how complicated they are, how they nag and how needy they are, or they don’t want sex after marriage. Don't listen to the jokes and especially don't buy into them. There are just as many derogatory jokes about men as there are about women, and both are inaccurate generalizations. Take the time to get to know each woman individually and make your own assessments, and remember jokes about women only serve to belittle, not inspire.

2. Don't Follow Your Peers
If your friends try to talk you into coming along with them to a strip club, please say NO. These places only serve to objectify women. The men who frequent those places consider women as property and not individuals with needs and feelings. Also, it may seem funny when your friends talk about "banging" women as if they're a piece of meat, but I assure you it's anything but funny. Capturing a woman's heart is a valuable and appreciated skill; treating her like a "conquest" is an immature fantasy.

3. Beware Of What You Allow Into Your Eyes And Mind 
Men are visual creatures, and nothing arouses men more than pornography. Some might say it's harmless, but the truth is, the more you watch or read porn, the more you'll be desensitized to the actual physical experience of making love. It will blind you to the real wonders of a woman's body. Nothing on this earth is more amazing then the real touch of a woman who loves you and wants you.

4. Forget Friends-With-Benefits
In theory, friends-with-benefits (FWB) sounds like a good idea because you get all the sex with none of the emotional responsibility. But here's the thing: while the sex may be incredible in a FWB situation, what usually happens is that one person begins to have feelings for the other, and then someone gets hurt. No matter how open you are with each other, FWB relationships rarely ever work and you usually lose a friend — that's a fact.

5. Always Practice Safe Sex 
Yes, you think you know all about diseases and pregnancy from what you've learned in school and I know (eye roll) you've heard it all before. Condoms can save you from diseases that can have life-long consequences. They can also prevent pregnancy and I probably don't need to remind you again that raising a child is a huge responsibility. Wait to start a family when you are in love, married, and have a good job and home. And don't assume the woman is on birth control or is being honest about it. Make sure you take care of yourself.

6. Know The Dangers Of Great Sexual Chemistry 
When you are drawn to a woman and feel out of control believing you're in love, take a step back. Remember, chemistry is really brain chemicals like testosterone and dopamine running amok, not unlike the feeling of being high on crack cocaine. These brain chemicals will cloud your judgment and lead you to making hasty decisions. Real love takes time to develop, so don't say, "I love you" unless you're ready to be there in good times and in bad times.

7. Be True To Your Word And To Yourself
You might be tempted to say anything to get sex. But honesty and integrity mean always telling the truth to yourself and to your partner. Manipulating a woman by telling her you are more into her then you really are just to get sex is tantamount to lying, even if you think it's true. You should never have to convince your partner to sleep with you. Focus on showing her how much you care, and the desire will follow.

8. Don't Accept A Cheap Thrill 
One-night-stands may seem exciting in the moment, but you're usually left with a ton of regret in the morning. You'll be tempted to sleep with as many women as you can because you'll want to "prove" something about yourself. There's nothing to prove. Although your friends and the media will disagree with me, it's more of an achievement to sleep with one woman a thousand ways than to sleep with a thousand women.

9. Make Love, Not Sex
Nothing really compares to the mind-blowing experience of making love with the one special woman you deeply care about. When you are fully present physically and emotionally, that's making love. Sex is just a physical experience. Having sex may feel good, but making love is heaven on earth. Take time to nurture a relationship. Be friends first and foremost. It will be so worth it.

If only I knew then (when I was my son's age) what I know now! While I know I can't protect him from ever having his heart broken, I want him to benefit from the hard lessons I've had to learn in my own life. That's why I knew a heart-to-heart talk with him was in order, so that hopefully the things I tell him now will guide him to make wiser choices in the years ahead.


“The greatest impact that can be made in a boy’s life is the wisdom shared by his father.” 

-Jonathon Aslay-

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Thursday, 26 February 2015

My Husband has Fallen in Love...

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with me. (Of Course!)

He's been showing the following crazy love-struck signs lately: 

- Watching Me
For several times a day, I've caught this man "coating" his eyes all over me like discreetly NOT. 

He's even openly confessed to me last night that "I've been observing you every day and I KNOW every single part of you!" 

On top of that, he compliments generously like: 
"You look really beautiful just like that."
"Why haven't I seen this side of you, what have I been doing."
"You look really hot in that dress."
"I love the way you do up your hair like that. Very pretty."
"You look very sexy today." 
"I've got the best wife on earth, the kind all men dream of having. And you're mine." 
"My wife makes beautiful babies. Can I have one more? A girl maybe?" <-- NO.

Well, it does make me feel a little skippity hop hop teased in a way. Now that I've got to be at my best since I know he is constantly observing me, I've got to feign ignorance and oblivious to avoid getting caught looking embarrassingly blush-red. 

- That Lingering Smile
He has been smiling alone A Lot Lately, even when I am right beside him, when baby is beside him and when both baby and I are beside him. He smiles like a _____. Sweet stuff watching a man fall in love :) 

- Obsessesive 
His whole life is now revolving around me like our planetary solar system, makes me feel bashfully giddy. LOL! 

Which also explains why I have LESSER PERSONAL SPACE lately. I don't get to spend as much time alone as much as I want to. I read a lot and I need several pockets of "ME" time to hide in my world of Books. He's been disrupting and interrupting and irritating and annoying and intrusive but then again, I know I welcome him doing all that deep inside my heart lol! 

- Talking Just Way Too Much
He cannnot stop talking, about everything! He has too much to say, even during office hours. Like Best Friends Forever. Love it.

- Out Of His Way and Beyond
He has been going all out, out of his way, beyond his comfort zone just to accomplish goals I randomly toss out of my silly mouth.
-___- !!! 

There is absolutely nothing I need to do. He has been doing every little thing for me like awwww. I cannot compliment him because he says compliments will make him become a complacent person, his weakness (WAH). He prefers to assume nothing is ever done enough and he has to do even better, even more. 

He is SPOILING me!!! What a man.

- Close Contact
Imagine a never-ending physical touch of a finger on your arm or sticking ankle to ankle for 8 hours every night.... Agh!!! His elbow is right now on my arm as I blog whilst he sleeps! 

- Not Too Distant Communication
He has been deliberately flooding me out with weird, out of point, random text messages, that would definitely require me to use my brain, knowing full well I AM BUSY THIS TWO WEEKS, to get my ATTENTION.
When he texts to me with more words than I can possibly imagine, weird.
He responds in an instance, wow. 
He requests for phone calls to 'discuss' with me buddhism. Ok. 

- Laughter
Most importantly, I hear him laughing out loud silly, making me laugh so hard, and we laugh hysterically together, so so much. 

- Love Awakened 
My husband's one hell of a terribly imperfect guy. He made me understand one important fact about men:

"A woman can never change a man because she loves him. A man changes himself because he loves her."

He's right. You don't have to do anything except to be your true self. 

It seems to me that men bloom rather late in long term relationships. Most times, a little too late. 
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The Man Every Women Need

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I Kept It In My Pants For A Year And I'm Happier Than Ever 
(Article taken from YourTango by David Wygant)

"I've been everywhere sexually. So I'm abstaining until I connect with someone on a deeper level." 

Sex.

I've loved sex ever since I first learned about it as a teenager. Growing up, I used to read all the books, The Sensuous Man, The Sensuous Woman, The Joy of Sex. Sex was always a quest for me. 

I remember losing my virginity and how amazing sex felt. I remember in my 20s using sex as an ego validation. I also remember my mother telling me to respect women, and I always tried to follow her advice. I've had all kinds of sex. I've had romantic sex. I've had love making sex. I've had plain old screwing. I've had validation sex, and I've had one-night stands. I've had everything under the sun. I've enjoyed every stage of my life being a sexually free being. 

But recently something inside me changed. 

I was dating this woman in 2013. It was an amazing sexual relationship. We had that incredible chemistry where our bodies knew exactly how to speak to each other. We were so into every moment. Sex would last hours, and it was always fun. The foreplay was amazing. Bringing each other to orgasm was intense. I could literally feel every bit of her. But missing in that relationship was the emotional connection I wanted. I kept hoping one would develop but it just wasn’t there. 

When that relationship ended, I sat down with a bunch of friends and announced 
"I'm not going to have sex anymore until I have everything I need." 
They looked at me and laughed. They said, "No way, man! You're someone who has to have sex. You’re just saying that because the relationship ended." 

My friends were wrong. 

I'm at a stage at my life where I have experienced bits of soul sex. I have experienced some really deep things during sex, and I believe sex comes with a responsibility. I don't want to go down that road anymore, unless it's a road I have never been on. A new road of sexual exploration, mutual respect, of feeling comfortable and safe. 

This year has been the year without sex. It's not like I haven't had opportunities, but I didn't act on them. Instead, I started thinking about the responsibility of sex. I started thinking about what it means to truly be authentic as a man. I remember in the middle of the year in July, I met this woman and we kissed. She looked at me with that look in her eyes. I said, "We're not having sex." She smiled and said, "Why not?" I said, "I don't feel it. We don't know each other well enough." 

It’s like I've become the woman now. I really want to have sex, but I want it to be special. I want to get deep and connective, and I want to go places I've never been before. I stopped having sex because I'm tired of it not going anywhere. I wanted the whole picture. In my mind and in my heart, I want to experience something I've never experienced before. Just having sex for the sake of having sex was definitely not where I wanted to go. 

The funny thing about it is, I'm not that frustrated. I've been sleeping great. I don't think that much about sex. I've never been much of a masturbator. It's like I've used that energy to channel elsewhere to get in my mind, in my heart and in my soul. I'd like to go somewhere I've never been before. I don't want the same old, same old. 

I stopped having sex because I want to connect on a much deeper level. If I start having sex with somebody just for the sake of having sex, I'm going to take my energy away from being able to connect and meet somebody on a deeper level. A year without sex. It's actually been about 15 months. 

I'm not a Boy Scout. I've had a few 'intimate encounters' this year. 
But, I'm happy with my decision. 

I feel like I've grown as a man. I feel like now, I can speak my truth, like I'm no longer ruled by the little man down below. I feel like my heart is in the right space. My ego is no longer making decisions. I've taken the ego out of it. It's amazing because now I've become a vulnerable, feeling, open, raw man. That feeling alone is an amazing experience. 

I wanted to confess this to you because I want you to realize not all men are thinking with their little man down below. Not all men are just looking to get laid. I want you to know there are other men like me. Several of my friends have done the same thing. These are men who have grown past their ego validation days of sex. 

There are a lot of men out there that are just like me. 
Wanting to connect deeper, experience that soulful loving connection, that leads to soul sex. 

If that’s what you are looking for in a man, you don’t have to settle. 
Tell the universe you desire a deep, soulful and physical connection with a man. 
That you’re not going to settle for anything less. 
Then watch what the universe presents to you. 
It will change your life, like it has changed mine.
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